


When I'm gone

by Criminals_code



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Bill is attracted to a twelve year old, But not the sin god, Descent into Madness, He actually cares, I am pure, Insane Dipper Pines, Insanity, Kinda?, M/M, Non-Manipulative Bill, Pedophilia?, Promise, Sad, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, for both body and personality, forgive me god, i am pure for the sin god, or any gods that are watching, please don't judge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criminals_code/pseuds/Criminals_code
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by "Cups" By Anna Kendrick. Sorry Dirk this ainnit</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Green leaves sway in the wind. The icy cold temperature brought around by the oncoming turn of the seasons forced little animals to their burrows. One boy shuddered with the cold, hands in his pockets and a jacket tight around him. His hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it away carelessly. He looked around at the chilly landscape surrounding him and a harsh laugh, matching his environment, burst from his throat. "I've got my ticket for the long way round," His voice was raspy with cold and pain. He pulled one of his hands from his pocket, producing a silver coin that flashed in the bleak light.

"Two bottle whiskey for the way." He flipped it, shining in the glaring sun. "And I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leaving, tomorrow what d'you say?" He caught it. A squirrel chittered at him scoldingly from a nearby branch, and retreated to the warmth of its home when he looked at it in misery. His eyes focused back onto the path ahead of him, framed with plants frosting over.

"When I'm gone, when I'm gone, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone!" He cried into the air. He flipped his coin again, nearly missing it as it fell back to earth. A bush to his left rustled with the wind and he drew his jacket closer around him. "You're gonna miss me by my hair you're gonna miss me everywhere, oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone." He choked out a laugh before scowling.

He stashed his coin away. "W-When I'm gone, when I'm gone, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone!" He swung himself around a tree, trodding through crackling grass. The clouds rumbled overhead and a light sprinkling rain began to come down. "You're gonna miss me by my walk you're gonna miss me by my talk, oh you're gonna miss me when I'm gone."

This was said quieter, but somehow the boys voice held an angrier tone. He brushed his hands over the trees, feeling the texture against his palms, biting cold and rough. "I've got my ticket for the long way round," He faced ahead with a wry sad grin as he sung. "The one with the prettiest of views," He snagged a leaf from a tree, feeling it between his fingers before letting it spin to the ground.

"It's got mountains its got rivers its got sights to give you shivers, but it sure would be prettier, with you." He jumped over a large log, standing there for a moment as the rain came down. "When I'm gone, when I'm gone, you'e gonna miss me when I'm gone," He set off at a quicker pace as the rain started coming down harder. "You're gonna miss me by my walk you're gonna miss me by my talk, oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone."

He sniffed and wiped his nose with his hand, tears mixing in with the rain.

Before him was an inanimate triangle, grey as the clouds. His eye was wide open and his hand was stretched out, friendly, almost.

He could almost imagine a lively glint in that eye, the way it'd crinkle up in amusement. He could feel the flickering heat from the blue fire engulfing that hand, warming his soul. He choked on tears and whispered, "Oh, you're gonna miss me when I-I'm gone..." He sank to his knees before the statue, petting its side with a hand. The rumble of thunder and the flashes of lightning were accompanied by sobs, filled with grief for one lost.


	2. Time of Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explanation chapter.

He grinned. Under the pads of his fingers, the rough tree bark rubbed like sandpaper at the skin. He looked up to the sky. Rain streaked his brown face, washing away the dirt to give an illusion of contrast. One hand came up and rubbed at his left cheek, removing the dirt. In front him, a few paces away, Bills outstretched hand taunted him. Just one shake, and he could have it all back. But what if it didn't work?

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the large oak behind him. The risk was too much. If his last attempt at saving the one person who had watched over him when he was feeling beaten, the one person who had shown him the worlds beyond, the one who had told him how he was special, was truly gone forever? He couldnt stand it. His eyes slipped closed as memories took over his conscious state.

He remembered the beginning.

* * *

It had started badly, really. A horrific memory montage from the summer played itself out over and over, until he was screaming, crying, begging for it all to end. He remembered the way his arrival had felt. A wave of power, that felt wrong(he wanted to be sick), had resonated through his dream. He sobbed, not caring whatever it was. "Well, well, well." A voice he knew all too well filled the dream.

He looked up, eyes red and nose running. A bored looking human stood there, leaning on a dark brown cane. Mocha skin, shockingly golden eyes, platinum blonde hair, and black streaks through it. A black tux jacket encased his torso, complete with a bow tie and a pale blue shirt. What looked like skinny jeans  "G-Go away, Bill..." He sniffled. The disinterested expression shifted to mild surprise.

"And 5 points to Pine Tree. Howdja guess so quick, kiddo?" He stood up straight and used his cane to bring Dipper's head up. His shark grin didn't make him any less terrifying.

"Your aesthetic. The color scheme." He murmured, tears drying up. "Your hat and bow tie and cane are all black, in the triangle form and... well, you don't have the hat right now... Um... Your skin is dark, and you have yellow eyes and hair, and tuxedo. And I'm guessing the shirt is because you have blue fire."

* * *

It had gotten better from there. Bill had taken to dispelling his nightmares, and when that happened, they would speak until the sun rose. He loved their nighttime talks, and sometimes he would ask for Bills company in a good dream. That was an advantage the demon had given him, he could lucid dream. He took to talking to him every so often and little by little, the only good dreams had Bill in them. At first Bill didnt even know a thing about human physics, so when Dipper first summoned him(uncertainly) into reality, he had spent all day figuring out humans. It took them most of the month for Bill to understand that no, he couldnt float, let alone stab himself randomly.

One day, he was taking a stroll through the woods with Bill when the other kissed him. It hadn't been passionate or anything, but still, the warm press of slightly moist lips against his shocked him. Bill was grinning wildly, running a hand through his hair and winking, bouncing back on his heels. "Haha, your face, little tree! No wonder you humans like that, that was weird!" That resulted in a flushed Dipper explaining intimacy and what intimate actions were ok for Bill to initiate. And dating. He had to explain why humans kissed too. That was a disaster, resulting in another kiss on his lips and another one poorly aimed, landing on his cheek.

Eventually they worked out human stuff, but it took a lot of talking, communication, and by the time Bill understood half of what it was to be human, he only had a month or so left of summer. The barrier was discussed, and ways to break it. After Dipper came home from Pacifica's ball, tired and drained from the days events, he collapsed onto the bed and the world turned grey. Bill's human form had aspects of his triangle form. Namely, wine eyes, glowing with rage. He scooted back on the bed away from the demon. Bill was not to be reckoned with in this state.

The demon flew forward and scooped him up in gloved arms, pressing him to his chest. " _M I N E."_ He struggled to get out of the grip and sighed. Bill had an obsession with possessing things, and couldnt get that Dipper wasn't to be owned. He pushed weakly at the chest, pausing for a moment at the way the other gripped him, as if he might turn into dust and slip away, or die right then and there.

"Bill, I'm not your thing." He explained patiently, albeit wearily. "And I'm really tired from today, so could you please let me down?"

" _N O."_ He sounded more the part of a petulant child now instead of a possessive all powerful demon. He rolled his eyes and sighed. Bill gripped him by the scruff of his shirt and hung him on an invisible hook, eyes bright red. Dipper crossed his arms and stared tiredly at the other. Honestly, he could play this game for a whi- _what._

Two fingers were delicately gripping his chin, and Bill was kissing him, again. His mouth gaped slightly, and the demon pressed up with a finger, shutting it so he could continue kissing the other. Bills lips were... soft. He was amazingly gentle with tilting his head and pressing into the kiss more, and somehow the gloves were magicked away, and bare fingers were stroking his jaw close to where his hair hung, and- his lips were wet and Bill was pulling back, eyes back to their usual yellow and gloves back on. He wiped Dippers lips with a gloved thumb and chuckled at his flushed and surprised expression.

"Uh... Bill..." He blinked. Bill had been kissing him. Bill had just kissed him. He just. This was strange. Bill lifted him down from where he hung, tender in his movements. "I'll talk in the morning, my little sapling. Until then, get some sleep, Dipper." The use of his name barely registered with him and neither did the soft brush of lips against his exposed birthmark.

* * *

Unsurprisedly, in the morning, Bill explained in too blunt terms that yes, he liked Dippers body which is why he kissed him. And he liked his personality. That was a fun talk. Despite the embarrassing conversation, he appreciated it nonetheless, and as a result, they had started... dating? It was hard, when you saw your boyfriend(?) every night, and you went somewhere new every time, like a date. But Bill WAS a demon.

They made it work.

Then Ford had returned, upsetting his whole world. He knew the Author wasn't on the friendliest terms with Bill, the "DO NOT SUMMON; NOT TO BE TRUSTED" recent in his mind. But since when was the Author related to him? He had stormed into his Mindscape that night, demanding with choking cries of  _why, how, why would yo- how could- I thought-_

The demon was all too caring, nothing like he was  _supposed_ to be, he was  _supposed_ to be the villain! The enemy. He wasn't supposed to be the one cradling him gently, the one repeating his mantra of sorry, sorry, sorry, over and over. He wasn't supposed to be the one he was in love with.

* * *

He woke up the next morning red eyed. He had been crying quietly all night, or so it would seem. He couldnt believe this of Bill. He near refused to accept it, but in the end, what choice did he have? Bill had lied, kept truths, and it felt... wrong. He felt manipulated, even though the last eight hours were of Bill quietly explaining everything he had held back, despite Dippers reactions.

It didnt make up for it in whole, but it was a start. That same day the Author took him into the forest. He didn't know how to feel, walking behind the man who had crossed into fifty two different dimensions. It was exhilarating, listening to his tales.

A land of dazzling power, with orange skies all day long and ornate robes. One that had a language made of circles. Once he learned to read it, he saw hushed whispers of a 'surgeon' or something of that ilk. His memory wasn't that good. Supposed surgeon was a nomad like himself, and had companions.

A place filled with colorful humans, a high school, in fact. Some of their skin colors transcended plausible pigments. One example was of a pink skinned girl and her silvery complexioned friend. They had seemed quite snobby, the silver haired girl brushing past him with her nose in the air and an adjustment of her blue glasses. For some reason they weren't surprised when he had stumbled out from the base of a horse statue.

Yet another was a city used to the crazy. He had seen a lady flying with water wings next to a shortie who seemed to be flying helicopter style. A purple dog had turned into a copy of himself, minus the glasses! And a strange kid with a tall magenta skinned lady and an afro.

He had seen so much... still, though, at the end of the day, Dipper knew he'd like Bill more.

* * *

Bill had postponed his apocalypse plan, for now. He knew that much. And even as dark eyes captured his and held them there like a snakes gaze, even when he hummed contentedly and nestled further into the demons lap, he knew.

This couldn't last forever.

 

* * *

 

He was right. He was so, so, right. 

Wendy was the one to find them. And rat them out to Stan. How was he supposed to know Wendy usually took a hike by where he met Bill in reality? And it wasn't any help that Bill had just kissed him. She had stared. Stared. Unbreaking gaze. Sweating under it.

Oh god.

Soon it was all over. Sold down the river like a common secret.

Stanford had locked the boy away, thinking him mind washed.

* * *

 

" _We'll, meet a~gain! Don't know where! Don't know w-when!"_ He sobbed. He could hear Bill singing. A last goodbye. His throat was hoarse.

Mabel cradled him. "S'ok, Dipdip. You'll be back to normal soon." He let out a cry. A second wind came to him, and he twisted around in her prisoning grip.

"GET OFF ME, MABEL, I LOVE HIM, MABEL, sTOP IT!" She started sniffling and cuddled him harder.

"You don't mean that, bro bro." She murmured into his hair, while he pushed her away none too gently, to no avail. "Its just his affect on your mind. It'll be ok. Relax dipdop."

"Yes, I do! Get off me, dangit!" He relaxed, crying. "Why are you not even giving me a chance? I hate you. I will  **never** forgive you for this, twin or not." Her grip loosened out of shock, and she stared at him. Seeing his chance, he shoved her away, rubbing his eyes. "Thanks a lot. Now- I." He choked, and turned on his toe. "I'm probably not going to get the chance to save him. I hate you for this." He ran.

" _Keep, smiling though. Just like you! Always do~"_ He shook his head, thoughts running through his mind faster then a wildfire. No- Bill- Im coming- plea- oh god- i need to run fast- why- gotta keep going- please don't let me be too late.

I don't think I can stand to be too late.

He charged straight for Stanford once he was in sight.

" _I know we'll meet again, some, sunnyyyyyyy, dayyyyyyyY~"_ He tackled his Grunkle a second after the shot went off.

No.

No. No. NO.  **NO!**

He collapsed, crying. His Grunkle sat up and patted him gently. "Hey, Dipper, cmon. He's gone now. You're ok." He looked up at his gru- no, Bills murderer,- and snarled. 

"I AM ANYTHING BUT OK! AND THATS THANKS TO YOU!" He drew a hand back and it flew into Stanfords jaw. It was effective, albeit weak. He stood up. "First. Lets see. You 'regale' me with epic travels. Not once thinking to actually learn about me. Not once to KNOW me."

He wiped away tears. "Then you assume I'm brainwashed? Really? Now you've erased him from life?" He shook his head, biting his lip. "Then you have the audacity to tell me its all right. Well... Its not. Welc _oME TO THE REAL WORLD, BRANIAC! WHERE GENIUSES DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT EMOTIONS, AND DEMONS CAN FALL IN LOVE."_ His voice started taking on an inverted quality. Each word fell harshly, and ended abruptly. Opposite of Bills, which echoed.

" _GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT ON ONE POINT, THOUGH! TRUST NO ONE! Except. A demon. Who. fucking. gave. everything. up. for. a little. happiness."_

He sat down, exhausted.  _"Except the demon who's gone."_ His shoulders shook as he wept, and for the rest of the night, three cautious Pines hovered around a grieving fourth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO! Sorry, people, know several of you have been gunning for this for a while. Well here you go, the fruit of mah labors. *jazz hands*  
> Also, try and guess the worlds that Ford has been to. Pls guess all three. Cookies go to who guesses all of em


End file.
